Unmotivated in life and everything else

I feel tired and ugly recently...
I can't seems to do anythings... I don't feel like doing any school works anymore...
Can I even pass my last semester(/trimester) of uni?  GPA of 1.sth is pathetic, is Mass Comm and PR even suitable for me? Me who have lousy English probably wun make it anywhere in that field baa. Maybe I shouldn't further study and waste all those $ for uni....should have just go some company to become their Engineer/technician using my diploma since I studied that in poly?

I have been super busy for god knows what during the holiday and even after school reopen. When will I have time to meet my old friends and what we should do when we meet? I don't know anymore sia... It seems like we all have been drifted apart and I'm not that kind of friends who will initial meet up even though I want meet he/ she/ them badly because I miss them.
I also became more and more selfish... (ugly) and keep blaming others...(I don't say it out but ya, inside my head.)
I wanna spare more and more time for myself and my things then hanging around with someone else doing nothing. but that's lonely

People used to says that "When you're working, you have money but have no time. When you're studying, you have time but have no money.''<- This is not very true for me.... I realize that I basically have no time and no money. I'm poor like shit (not working and dad is poor too so I can't just ask $ from him) and busy like hell.


I better force myself to get things done soon!

Inside out

Just watched "Inside Out" recently... It's very creative whereby they let the emotions in a person have their own characters each(each emotion was personified) and it is very easy to distinguish each of them. The very obvious looking "Fear", "Joy", "Angry", "Disgust" and "Sadness", followed by each characteristic that was assigned to each of them.

If possible, I'll like have just "Joy" and keep the rest of them in their little circle so that I wun feel fear, angry, disgust and sadness. I just love "Joy", her character can be interpreted in many different ways, but I will just interpret her as being very positive, extrovert and fun person. The rest are like... "Fear" will make me so damh paranoid... Angry will piss me off... Disgust will make feel that she's judging me for every single things I do... Talking to sadness will make me feel worst after meeting fear, angry, disgust...
See what I mean? We all need "Joy"! That's why "Joy" kept wanting to get back to the control station asap(even when "Joy" have to abandon "Sadness"... she actually once/twice abandoned "Sadness" in order to get back to the control station) in the whole movie because that girl(human) need to be happy! OUO

I feel like I'm more toward "Fear", I always imagined things(The worst case scenario...which might never happen in real life) before I experienced...
like for e.g if I didn't hold the kettle of hot water carefully, I might spill the whole thing and scald my feet(and the scary wound><). (sth like this and many more).
I'm actually a very timid person and have a lot of unnecessary thinkings.
I might looks like "Joy" or looks happy most of the time, I still have "Sadness", "Angry", "Disgust" and "Fear", just that they are mostly hidden inside me as I "smile".

The introduction of "Bing Bong"(the imaginary friend)...*A* I can totally relates to it, I used to treat all my soft toys as if they are alive and helped to voice out their voices. But... not anymore...and neither do I believe that they are alive anymore(just like Santa Claus). They are now just kept somewhere in the dark to..collect dust... Although that I don't believe anymore, they were once part of my childhood, they will remain as part of my childhood memories. (They wun disappear like Bing Bong does...)