Upon hearing the news at 5am, my family and I went to Batam for him. I could not look at him, whenever I look at him, I'll cry. I broke down a few times hiding at the top floor when he always asked me to play Ping pong ball with him. I didn't want to affect others so it's the best solution not letting anyone see me crying.
Happy memories with him flashed pass made me feel more that he is no longer alive anymore. I remember the first time I have memories(when I was a small kids) I went back to Moro with mum and brother, running toward them while calling ah gong and ah ma and, ah gong eventually carried me in his arm. Countless times spent in Moro where ah gong always cycling me to the hillsides and pick fruits like rambutans and coconuts, and when I was too big to sit on his bicycle, he bought me a bicycle and we cycle together there.
There was once when ah gong was in Singapore, he brought me out to walk but both of us ended up losing our way and took the police car back home(that's my house but I'm too young to know how to get home) haha
I'm sorry ah gong, that I ended agreeing with youngest aunt than convince her to go matchmaking when you asked me to help to convince her to go matchmaking last time. Ah gong once told me that he worries that youngest aunt will be alone and have no one taking care of her when she's old, and that he wouldn't be able to see her getting married. So he asked me to convince her to go matchmaking since I'm quite close with her. But still I don't want her to get married for the sake of getting married, I want her to have someone else she's willing to married to and someone who she love, also love her. It's totally okies to be single.
For Ah ma, she have the worst feeling, it's extremely sad for her when ah gong left. Ah ma probably wouldn't be able to go back Moro to live again, since ah gong left. She have so much freedom and have something to do in Moro back then...but now she have to live in Batam(city) with aunt and uncle. Hopefully, their house in Moro wouldn't be sold away and demolished...
On the day when the cremation was over, I felt terrible... looking at the ashes and bones of ah gong...
and the staff just break and crash his bones into small pieces using wood. How does one bare to look at this scene.. just it's just impossible. I couldn't stay there at all that I went out of the cremation room.
Hopefully everyone can get out of this sadness soon...
